Sample haikus from
"Did I Wake You?" by Beth Lapides:


Type A Free Spirit.
Working hard to let the wind
blow me where it will.


Trying to replace
my feelings of vague dread with
specific concerns.


"Would you like a twist?"
"Yes," I always say, feeling
the truth of the phrase.


Went on Weight Watchers.
Didn't lose any weight but
enjoyed the boundaries.


Magical thinking's
not thinking - or magic. But it's
better than panic.


When I said be more
Liz Taylor - I meant diamonds,
not back pain and pills.


There's no us and them.
But still, we're not them. Are we?
Are we even us?


The absence of yes
over time is equal to
no. Hollywood math.


She asked, "Will you speak
about the healing power
of laughter?" "Yes," I sobbed.


Oy to the vey - my
parents came to visit but
bought a house instead.


It's not what you know
or who you know - it's who knows
you and what they know.


"Mayan calendar's
end predicts shift," radio
says. I shift. Park. Shop.


I surrender to
God. But I am God so I
surrender to me.


I try not to judge
people for not struggling.
More struggle for me.


Never read Proust - feel
I have - have read Sartre but
feel that I haven't.


I'm an expert at
being a beginner. So,
beginner or not?


China's got toxic
dust storms, expanding deserts
and they just got E!


Don't think of "pain". Think
of "sensation". OK, yeah,
painful sensation.


Turns out, obsession
with health is unhealthy - but
better than Splenda.


Tantric sex is hot.
Unfortunately it's also
quite time consuming.


While waiting for the
other shoe to drop put the
first shoe back on.


If you drive yourself
crazy then you're taking jobs
from other people.


Stopped searching Google.
Started searching my soul. It
said get back online.


Worry's the devil.
Don't worry about it though
or the devil wins.


A time to sow and
a time to reap. Reaping's a
better show. So sow.


"Did I wake you?" "No."
"Are you sure?" "Well, kind of." "I'll
call back." "I'm up now!"


"Did I Wake You", pub. 2007 Soft Skull Press
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